angelzli
03 October 2009 @ 10:11 pm
Poem  
Memory

Together we once were
In the shadows of the night
You became my shining light
Grasping at the strings of hope
So in life we could cope

Somewhere along the way
You and I became a memory
Alone to wallow in our own self misery
Watching the days go by
Pretending it was all a lie

Only now do I know
The place you carved into my heart
As I remember those times we thought we’d never part
Pieces of me break away
Leaving my heart in disarray

So the time is now
I let you go
On your own you now grow
You’ve left your mark upon my soul
Never again will I be whole


</3

©AngelzLi2009; dont use without asking!

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angelzli
21 September 2009 @ 08:38 pm
Musical Memories 5/5  
Chapters: 5/5
Author: [info]angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki
Rating: PG-13? idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape
Genre: drama, maybe others...
Disclaimer: lies. lies. all lies!
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: HI, anyone remember me? ha, ya, been a while, ne? finally after like...2 centuries i finished this. gomen it took me so uber long -_- anywayz, for those of you who DO remember this fic and waited for me to finish, here it is...fin! XD








( 'Ruki do you want your clothes?' )
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angelzli
01 September 2009 @ 08:43 pm
Jrocker-napping 3/?  
Title: Jrocker-napping!
Chapters: 3/? (continued from oneshot)
Author: [info]angelzli
Bands: ScReW
Characters/Pairings: None; slight MxF
Rating: G
Warnings: lame writing, lame attempt at humor, crap grammar, crap plot, fangirling, mild language, jrocker-napping...i think thats it XD
Genre: crack?
Disclaimer: in my dreams...srsly
Summary: obsessed fangirls attempt a jrocker-napping!! success or fail!?
Authors Notes: NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! incase anyone reading this cant take a joke. basically this is like...an inside thing between me and some friends that i decided to make a fic out of. This is MAINLY written for my youtube friend ilovevidoll34 (Raya). how long this will be? anymore i have no clue lol but heres 3, Raya, i reallyyyyy hope u like it XD oh annnnd ty V-chan (she knows who she is) for helping reignite the passion to write again, u did help whether u think u did or not XD xoxoxo to u both XD


( can you handle it?  )
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angelzli
09 August 2009 @ 07:42 pm
Have You...  


( Have you...? )
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angelzli
20 July 2009 @ 08:58 pm
(no subject)  
i feel like utter SHIT...
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angelzli
04 July 2009 @ 01:50 pm
Jrocker-napping! 2/?  
Title: Jrocker-napping!
Chapters: 2/? (continued from oneshot)
Author: [info]angelzli
Bands: Vidoll, the GazettE, alice nine, D'espairsRay
Characters/Pairings: none really/crack pairings: *hinted* Hiroto/Tora, RukixOC(well...Nicola lol)/RukixHizumixNicola *suggested*
Rating: G?
Warnings: lame writing, lame attempt at humor, crap grammar, crap plot, fangirling  (slight cuz i didnt capture the fangirl image well lol), mild language, mild violence, jrocker-napping...i think thats it XD
Genre: crack?
Disclaimer: in my dreams...srsly
Summary: obsessed fangirls attempt a jrocker-napping!! success or fail!?
Authors Notes: NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! incase anyone reading this cant take a joke. basically this is like...an inside thing between me and some friends that i decided to make a fic out of. This is MAINLY written for my youtube friend ilovevidoll34 (Raya), she doesnt have a LJ account that im aware of. This is for you hunny!! I hope u like it! ok, so i really did decide to continue this. idk how well its gonna turn out...hope u two like it XD enjoy <3





( ONWARD! > )





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angelzli
30 June 2009 @ 10:08 pm
Quiz!  










stoled from [info]ninjakitters




( clicky clicky! )


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angelzli
28 June 2009 @ 09:01 pm
Inside Out  
Inside Out
©  Angie Flores
Outside lives a girl with a smile that will brighten up the room,
yet inside hides a girl with a frown full of despair.

Outside lives a girl with eyes of joy that brings you to ease,
yet inside hides a girl shedding tears of sadness.

Outside lives a girl with a beautiful laugh that's contagious,
yet inside hides a girl screaming her lungs out in unwanted anger.

Outside lives a girl with the personality everyone envies,
yet inside hides a girl full of insecurities and shame.

Outside lives a girl who is fearless and tough,
yet inside hides a weak girl who lives in fear.

Outside lives a girl full of life,
yet inside hides a girl full of pain, wanting to die.

Outside lives a girl with a perfect image,
yet inside hides a girl with regrets and mistakes.

Outside lives a girl of innocence,
yet inside hides a girl with tremendous guilt.

Outside lives a girl with goals and aspirations,
yet inside lives a girl lost in confusion.

What you see on the outside is my personal disguise,
What hides underneath you can't even begin to imagine





everyday another person lets me down...everyday another dream dies...everyday i feel worse than before...everyday another piece of me is stolen...everyday i die a  little more....everyday...i ask myself 'when does it get better?'

it's a loop...a vicious cycle. today someone said me 'your depressed Sabrina, your clinically depressed'. and my first thoughts were 'how did she see it?' and 'ive been labeled now' ive always known i was depressed...srsly, but to actually have someone tell me i was, to actually physically hear those words, to know that this is an observation that someone has made of me when im around her so little...i wonder if anyone else has seen it. and it makes me think...what do i do now? she may have labeled me...but that has prolly made it worse...i still hide it, all of it...and i really dont know why. she thinks it simply financial problems tho, she has no idea how deep it goes, many ppl would be surprised if they knew. i dont know how to fix it, i dont know how to take away the lonliness, the confusion, the hurt, all of it. i wanna scream it out yet i dont. i want to silence the thoughts that fuel the fires...i dont know how...im ashamed, and im affraid and im even more affraid that if i told anyone, they wouldnt take me serious cuz ive spent soooo many years hiding it. i dont wanna hurt anyone into thinking its their fault, i honestly dont know whose it is....a long, sad, blurred past full of lies and pain have etched scars into my soul that i dont know will ever come out...and i dont know where to begin to heal them, or how to move past them...too many times have i wrote something like this but in privacy...and idk y im doing this publicly...cuz God knows i need to just voice it now and again...

so here again...i go back to life...filling it with useless crap just to feel like i connect to something or someone, that i belong when its all just.....

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angelzli
19 June 2009 @ 08:28 pm
Jrocker-napping O_O  
Title: Jrocker-napping!
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: [info]angelzli
Bands: Vidoll, the GazettE
Characters/Pairings: Rame, ReitaxJui (hinted), Ruki, JuixRaya! and *hinted* crack pairings involving: Sabrina (ME!), Raya, and my BFF Nicola ( [info]maximumximpulse ) XD wha? this is total crack....
Rating: G?
Warnings: lame writing, lame attempt at humor, crap grammar, crap plot, fangirling  (slight cuz i didnt capture the fangirl image well lol), mild language, mild violence, jrocker-napping...i think thats it XD
Genre: crack?
Disclaimer: in my dreams...srsly
Summary: obsessed fangirls attempt a jrocker-napping!! success or fail!?
Authors Notes: NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! incase anyone reading this cant take a joke. basically this is like...an inside thing between me and some friends that i decided to make a fic out of. This is MAINLY written for my youtube friend ilovevidoll34 (Raya), she doesnt have a LJ account that im aware of. This is for you hunny!! I hope u like it, sry i epic failed at getting this done sooner <3 and also for Nicola, and myself XD oh and needless to say, theres no beta lol so if theres mistakes, gomen XD

( total crack... )( total crack... )







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angelzli
29 May 2009 @ 12:10 am
Seme/Uke Quiz  











haha ok, i found this on [info]daitalover 's journal and just couldnt resist...a lil fun, but idk if accurate lol take it! haha XD
 
Discover if You are Seme or Uke!
Created by ChiisaiYume on Memegen.net

This is the result if Seme! has the highest score.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!
How tall are you?

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angelzli
23 May 2009 @ 03:43 pm
New set of GIFS! yay!  
-OZ-

I hope your Natsuki fans! lol cuz many of these are of Natsuki since the vid didnt show any good clips of the others sadly. But i did my best as an amature XD Enjoy! and as before credit meh and i dont care how its done just dont claim as your own XD i really should find a comm to post these in...hmm XDDD edit: seems the timing is a bit off on some, prolly my browser idk...let me know and ill slow them down and re add them XD






( Oz.. )
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angelzli
20 May 2009 @ 04:16 pm
Just 2 lil words...  
Thank You!!!




( not just 2 lil words )



----------------
Now playing: the GazettE - [Gama #03] Last bouquet [foobar2000 v0.9.5.6]
via FoxyTunes   

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angelzli
20 April 2009 @ 07:25 pm
SAI Avantgarde PV  
Due to some trouble, Sai has given fans full permission to post this anywhere and everywhere! most of u have seen this, im putting it here for any visiters possibly XD Youtube gave them a bunch of crap about this cuz someone made a copyright claim to it even tho its THEIR PV! enrages me sry...these guyz are working hard to improve, really are and they didnt deserve it. ookok im going on a rant. point is if u like it pls share and pass around. the pv is up for free, LEGAL download on their myspace and also they have some songs for free, LEGAL download on their last.fm. their links are below the PV and enjoy XD Much luv to Sai! ~<3



myspace: http://www.myspace.com/541rock
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/SAI/33296178435
youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/541rock
twitter: http://twitter.com/541rock
last.fm: http://www.last.fm/music/Sai
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angelzli
03 March 2009 @ 07:10 pm
Gifs! xD  
curz im a procrastinator on my fic *hides*

heres some gifs i made! all made by me unless otherwise stated XD im amature...seriously lol got nothing nice to say dont say it at all. constructive critism and encouragement of course is welcomed XD take any u like, just pls, of course, credit meh (im not picky how its done, if u cant find a good way...just dont claim as ur own if ur asked XD) some being redone for size or various reasons as i get better at this XD Chariots and D'espairsRay ones are size most will end up being!

::UPDATE:: resizes are up! will take size requests or additions to them (such as text)! Much more to come, so check back! i know there kinda...plain, right now hehe still learning, gomen XD Enjoy XD


( Gifs this way~~~ )
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angelzli
21 December 2008 @ 06:04 pm
(no subject)  
Title: Musical Memories
Chapters: 4/??
Author: [info]angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG-13?  idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape, blood, attempted suicide
Genre: drama, angst....?
Disclaimer: lies. lies. all lies!
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: welp, here it is for those who have been reading XD sry took so long! Beta: <lj user="4evergazefan"> thx u!!! ~<3 previous chapters at my journal xD sry f-list, i double posted cuz idk how to link directly to my journal for community posts, bare with me *hides*





~


( Chapter 4! )
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angelzli
29 November 2008 @ 07:43 pm
alice nine MIRROR BALL piano ver. Live  
i ripped alice nine's MIRROR BALL piano version from their Live DVD Play Like A Rainbows the other day, havent seen it anywhere else myself, but, if ur interested ill send it to who ever wants xD its so perty, i had to do it xD

~<3

 
 
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angelzli
22 November 2008 @ 11:37 am
(no subject)  

ok. im doin this cuz well, i read  mazohyst_ruki's and thought maybe i should do it too lol so this is stoled from herrr! xD

[Basics you do not know.]

nickname you prefer: er...online Angelz, offline Brina


zodiac sign:: Gemini

age including months::  oh gawd...i hate these question 28 and 5 months (just pretend thats a one and not a two, k? lol)

real hair color:: dark/med brown


color you dye it [if you do]:: red (not all of it, bangs, trim)

age you got your first piercing/tattooss:: piercing: 11 yrs old i think? dun 'member  tattoo: er....23 i think? around there

mental problems/disorders:: whatever disorder makes me immature, irresponsible, hyper &  impatient with a small attention span and i believe i have a bit of a split personality disorder

significant other and how long:: single, have been for a while and will stay that way lol men suck...

sexual orientation:: straight

[favorites you dont know]

shampoo/conditioner:: head & shoulders (no im not embarrassed, its not like its my fault xD)

deodorant:: suave baby powder xD

perfume/cologne:: cant use...i got a sinus condition that doesnt let me -_-

perfume/cologne on the opposite sex [or same if prefrence]:: As long as they smell good <must agree, but, with my sinuses lol none -_-

favorite shirt:: Erm, probably my Cradle of Filth shirt <-yay CoF! ok..me...prolly my newly gotten Dir en Grey concert Tee now!! lmao yay!

favorite pair of pants:: dont really have a fave pair...there all basically the same (im boring with clothes, trying to change that lmao)

pair of shoes:: errr...my sneakers? lol

color you like to wear::  black, and i  need more of it

soap?:: suave body gel

lotion?:: cocoa butter

picture of yourself?:: idk how to put pics here lol uhmm...dont laugh if i fail

<img src="http://i476.photobucket.com/albums/rr122/Angelzjp/Misc/DSC01554-1.jpg">
i suck i know xD

 

[deeper that you dont know]
do you hold grudges or forgive easy?:: depends on the cause...but sometimes its hard to forgive

 how many real, close, friends do you have that you can truly trust?:: 0 <-sad, ne? hehe its hard to get that close to me now cuz the ones who have...failed me.

are you happy when you are single?:: happy can only begin to describe it xD

do you really love yourself?:: er...not really, i have my issues.

do you have any anxieties?:: mm....no?

what makes you most unhappy?:: lots of stuff...mostly, when i remember how old i am when i wanna do something & tell myself im too old for that *cries*

what makes you most mad?:: my lack of fashion ability/and or creativity

do you feel like you have everything you want/need?::  I have everything I need, but not everything I want <same xD
 
lets say, if you are on a deserted island, who or what would you take with you?:: Reita...hes alllll i would EVER need on a deserted island XD

are you content?:: at the moment

how do you spend most of your free time?:: reading, writing, listening to music, playing games, chatting, watching anime, random net surfing, obsessing over Reita-sama & jrock

do you have hobbies- can you be alone and have fun-?:: i prefer to be ALONE really...i enjoy myself more, its complicated, but ya

what really scares you?::  my age....

do you have any phobias?:: spiders & heights...gawd ill need a truck load of pills to get me to Japan someday...

whats your favorite physcical feature about you?:: i dont think i have anything on me worth looking at lol but my friends tell me i have pretty eyes and insanely long eyelashes...=/

 whats your favorite part of your personality?:: idk...my weirdness lmao

what do you hate most about other people?:: when their fake. when they try to be something their not only cuz its the 'in' thing, sadly ive been down that road. jrock has liberated me! xD

do you feel understood or misunderstood?:: misunderstood...no one i know (despite their efforts and thinking they know) know me for me. no one understands the mess in my head cuz i barely understand it.

do you have a problem with pda?:: er..pda as in? ...public display of affection? lol cuz thats the only thing i knew that standed for...but if thats what it means then my answer: not really, as long as its kept decent.

[other things you dont know]
tell us something most people dont know about you::  (kept a few on here from mazohyst_ruki cuz it applies to me too XD)

i feel am more 'my self' online rather then offline
i spend too much time online, whether im seen by friends or not
i can be so lazy sometimes...well alot
i hate men tho im not gay or bi and have no desire to be with either
I really hate humans in general <same
I don't believe in love at this point in time <same
i obsess over jrock too much xDDD
i secretly envy every younger jrock fan out there
i have almost no friends offline
i luv fanfics; reading & attempting to write them
i luv yaoi
music & jrock have become my sole reason to continue to breath on this planet
even at my age, my mothers presence still imprisons my mind & personality
im extremely insecure
i hate that most of what im saying here is depressing stuff lol




anything else you want to say about yourself?: im transitioning from the old 'me' to the new 'me' and im too impatient with it...
 
 
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angelzli
18 November 2008 @ 08:25 pm
Musical Memories - 3/??  

Title: Musical Memories
Chapters: 3/??
Author:

[info]angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG-13?  idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape
Genre: drama, maybe others...
Disclaimer: lies. lies. all lies!
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: finally i finished the next chap yay! *pats self on back* previous chapters at my journal cuz im still new to this ljcut & dunno how to add them yet hehe xD  tons of hugs to [info]4evergazefan for beta-reading for me!! *gives cookies* ~<3 so those embarrassing lil mistakes may not happen again xDD ~<3




 

( Chapter 3 Dis Way~~~ )

 

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angelzli
16 October 2008 @ 06:52 pm
Musical Memories - 2/??  
Title: Musical Memories (lame i know, but at least its something)
Chapters: 2/??
Author:[info]angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG-13?  idk, read warnings
Warning: mentions of murder, mentions of rape
Genre: drama, maybe others...
Disclaimer: sadly, i dont own them, only the story and the OC are mine
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: heres the next chap, i dubbed the other one prologue and this will be considered chapter 1. bare with me xD hopefully this chapter makes up for the  last. i read so much i wanted to change after i posted. pls give it a chance, im working hard XD







( Read more... )




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angelzli
13 October 2008 @ 08:23 pm
Musical Memories - Prologue  

Title: Untitled (sadly im bad at this)
Author:[info]angelzli
Pairing: Reita x Ruki, possibly more later?
Rating: PG for now
Warning: none, unless you count bad grammar and plot
Genre: drama, domance, fluff? maybe others...
Disclaimer: sadly, i dont own them, only the story and the OC are mine
Summary: Reita started leading a life down the wrong path. One day he finally gets caught and is awaiting his hearing, when it finally gets here the sentencing isn't quite what he expected...
A/N: omg...this is my first fic, seriously like ever. ive been dying to contribute around here and finally may have come up with something. i'll write more if i actually get some readers hehe idk even know how to post this right, so if i do this wrong pls tell me. uh...comments are welcome as well as suggestions.  oh and i dont know if i got this lj-cut thing to work...im such a noob lol help would be nice if i didnt get it, sry for disrupting the flow. im babbling hehe ~<3






( iz in here! )
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